Preparing for Child Custody and Visitation Mediation:

Child custody mediation can feel overwhelming, but with the right preparation, you can approach the process confidently. This guide will help you understand what to expect, how to prepare, and what you need to bring to custody mediation to ensure a productive discussion.

With the exception of the court hearing, the most important part of the child custody and visitation process in the County of San Diego is the child custody mediation and recommendation process. This process is formally known as “child custody recommending counseling,” and colloquially known as “FCS mediation” (because it takes place in the Family Court Services department of the courthouse). 

We assist our clients with FCS mediation in a variety of ways depending on which stage of the process they engage with our office. 

What to Expect from Custody and Visitation Mediation

Mediation is a non-adversarial process where both parents work together, with the help of a neutral mediator, to create a parenting plan and resolve child custody and visitation issues. It’s important to come prepared and understand the legal framework, as family court mediation is often required before a custody case can move forward.

In custody mediation, you can expect to discuss:

• Legal and physical custody arrangements
• Parenting time schedules
• Visitation logistics (e.g., transportation, holiday schedules)
• Communication methods between parents

Pro tip: Take time to reflect on your goals for the mediation, and be open to compromise to create a parenting plan that works for everyone, especially your children.

Preparing for Child Custody Mediation

Preparation is key to successful mediation. To ensure you’re ready for the process, consider the following custody mediation preparation checklist:

• Gather essential documents:
  Bring any existing court orders, custody schedules, and relevant correspondence between you and the other parent.
• Prepare a draft parenting plan:
  Write down your preferred custody arrangements, including visitation schedules and plans for holidays or special events. This can serve as a starting point for negotiation.
• Be ready to discuss child-related expenses:
  Address issues like healthcare, education, and extracurricular activities. Mediators often expect parents to come with ideas about how these costs will be shared.

Tip: Think about practical solutions for custody transitions and communication. If the other parent has concerns about a particular schedule, be open to adjustments that meet both parties’ needs.

Common Challenges in Custody Mediation

During child custody mediation, some topics may present challenges, especially in high-conflict cases or those involving special circumstances, such as:

• Substance abuse concerns
• Special needs children or children with disabilities
• High-conflict custody disputes

In these situations, having a well-documented parenting plan proposal can help guide the conversation toward resolution. Family court mediators are trained to handle these situations and may recommend counseling or co-parenting classes if they feel they would benefit the child.

Tips for Communicating Effectively During Mediation

Communication is crucial in custody mediation. When discussing visitation schedules or legal and physical custody arrangements, focus on the child’s best interests. Here are some communication strategies to keep in mind:

• Stay calm and respectful:
  Emotions can run high during mediation, but it’s essential to keep the conversation focused on your child’s well-being.
• Listen to the other parent:
  Be open to their perspective and willing to make reasonable compromises. A successful mediation requires both sides to feel heard.
• Be clear about your priorities:
  If certain aspects of the custody arrangement are particularly important to you (e.g., maintaining a consistent routine), make sure to communicate that clearly.

After Mediation: Finalizing Your Parenting Plan

Once both parents have reached an agreement, the mediator will typically help you draft a formal parenting plan that outlines the custody and visitation arrangements. This document may then be submitted to the court for approval, making it legally binding.

If mediation fails to resolve all issues, the case may move forward in the court system, where a judge will make decisions regarding custody and visitation. However, with proper preparation and a willingness to cooperate, most parents can reach a satisfactory agreement during the mediation process.

Preparing for Court-Ordered Mediation

In many cases, parents will be required to attend court-ordered custody mediation before moving forward with a custody trial. Understanding the specific expectations of family court mediation can be essential to navigating this process successfully.

You can read more about what to expect during court-ordered child custody mediation here and learn about how to approach child support modifications here.

Final Thoughts

Preparing for child custody and visitation mediation involves understanding the process, gathering necessary documents, and coming prepared to communicate effectively. By following this guide, you’ll be well-equipped to navigate mediation and reach an agreement that supports your child’s best interests.

For more information about child custody and visitation issues, contact our family law team at Naimish & Lewis to schedule a consultation today. Don’t wait until it’s too late.